being off this summer, from a ‘day job’, and working full time at comedy has been a pleasure and a mind fuck. i feel like i’m finally in a place now that i can do this full time. i am booked up until christmas, and i have some bigger shows that i’m going to be producing for myself, but, i have full time comedy work until then. it’s a bit scary.

i have worked really hard to get to where i’m at. if i put it into context, i’ve been working at ‘being a comedian’ since 1999, and i’m still not sure that i’m there. how do i know that i’m able to call myself a comedian. calling yourself a comedian, in comedy cirlces, is a big risk. alot of ‘pro’s’ jump on the chance to call you out on where you’ve played, who you know, the clubs you tour, etc. i’ve only been doing standup for just over two years. before standup, i did sketch and improv in toronto for a number of years. before that, i got a degree in theatre and studied acting for a number of years. i think everything i’ve done prior to doing standup feeds into my act, my storytelling style, and my ability to connect with audiences. i’m not sure if any of that matters in the ‘comedy world’. maybe i’m paranoid.

ya see, in comedy, being the old white boys club that it is, it’s thought that comedians have to earn their stage time and pay their dues before they are legit. some argue it take 10 years of writing and performing standup before one finds their ‘voice’ as a comedian. it almost seems to be an unwritten rule in comedy, that if you get to much to fast, you’re lucky and undeserving. as an ojibway guy that does comedy, i’ve been told by some that i only get work as a comic because of my cultural background and that i’m in danger of being a commodity act. i’ve been told by comics to work on my act, so as not to be THE native comic, but rather, a comic that happens to be native. aren’t they the same thing. i can’t go on stage and not be me. in fact, fighting who i am, where i come from, and what i’ve been through is ridiculous. i do agree that i don’t want to be a one trick pony in terms of my material, and i feel that i’m in no way in danger of being that, but that one trick is who and what i am. some comics say that you need a character to play, which really just means figure out what your point of view is on life and consistently write from that place.

i am writing this because i have a thorn in the side of my ribs that keeps poking at me – i should give it little thought, but it always seems to be there. the thing i’m talking about is the perception that i’m a native comedian that get’s hired by native people to play native events and i get hired because i’m native. i know it’s been said, hell, my friends in comedy have said it to me plenty. i guess i don’t mind that people think that way. the fact is half the gigs i do are from the ‘mainstream’ and the other half are from various aboriginal communities, organizations, and corporations. in people saying that and believing that certainly let’s me know what they think of my work as a comedian. it lessens my credibility – i’m not funny, i’m an indian being hired by indians cuz there only a few of ‘us’ doing comedy. somehow, the fact that i’ve been working hard at this for nearly 10 years is dismissed with me finding good work for myself and my family. it irritates me. it eats at me.

the payback for me is simple – go into every room i can and do well. i write constantly, rewrite, and rework jokes that i’ve been telling since i started two years ago. i constantly hear comedians, or any artists really, using the old blame game. “doors don’t open for me cuz i’m this, or i’m that, or i’m not this, and i’m not that.” i think that’s pure shit. we have to open doors for ourselves.

now, i have a long way to go. i’m not trying/proposing i’m fast tracking to an hour long HBO special or anything, and i know i have alot to learn about standup, writing, and performing standup. i’m the first to admit it. but i’m honest about it. i know what i have to work on. i constantly ask for feedfback. i tape my sets. watch them and take notes. i try and learn everytime i’m out. for me, it keeps me in a humble place to know how long this road will be. i want to do nothing but perform. that is my goal.

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