My Beadwork Teaches Me, Reminds Me, Humbles Me
In my comedy and moreover, in my life, I always think to myself, “What would Kookum (grandma) think?” It’s a bit of a weird thing. It’s not something I did when she was with us on earth – but now that she’s playing “Bingo in the Sky” I’m always checking in with that thought.
The other day I pulled out my beadwork and it’s always an emotional thing for me since she passed. My gramma was well known for her beadwork, moccassins, and other leather works and it’s one of the things she really wanted to pass down to me – working with my hands. She spoke of the danger of losing the skills, the stories, the iconography (she didn’t use the word iconography, think she just said, “stuff”) that she grew up with and when I came to her and asked for her to teach me – she cried. She was so happy. At first I think she thought I was joking. I wasn’t.
Starting out was tough. She wanted to teach me how to bead with a “double needle” technique that ensures your beads are on lockdown and the results are often a bit nicer than a “lazy stitch” style. She told me, “better to learn the good way first so your stuff lasts a long time.” I had done ‘some’ beading before but only learned “lazy stitch.” I prefer “lazy stitch” as I don’t like the super tight, nearly manufactured look of some of the other stuff, but lazy stitch doesn’t look as nice and it can fall apart over time more easily. I told my kookum that I’d prefer lazy stitch, get good at it, then move onto double needle beading later. She didn’t say anything at the time, but, she said, “Okay,” in that gramma sort of way. We’d sit, bead, drink tea, and not talk. It was one of the happiest times of my life.
The other day I got news that my webseries/sitcom deal wasn’t going ahead. The development application will be looked at again in the Fall of 2010, but who knows what will happen. I won’t lie – I was/am pretty devastated over it. The process of creating Film and Television is a long and arduous process and it’s like playing the lottery – you never know what’ll happen. I know the treatment to the series is good and the webseries is quite innovative and interactive – I KNOW WE HAVE A WINNER. The frustration and disappointment consumes me. I know it’s not a failure because they (the broadcasters) are looking at it again in the fall. I was very ready to do this project though. I’ve written TONS of stuff for it, have had preliminary talks with animation studios and motion graphics people. I’ve assembled a killer team of writers from across Indian Country. I can see it. Hear it. Feel it.
But I wait. Remembering patience. Trying to think, “What would my kookum say? What would she do?” The answer is simple. She’d pick up her beadwork, smile, and say, “Okay.”
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Thanks for this story Ryan. I haven’t thought of Grandma in awhile….I can see/hear her saying that, ”
Okayyyy.” haha. Meegwetch….gonna go make me some Pasgetti!